Time.

I know you'd give more if you had the time.
But the timing ain't lining with the rhyming of the scheme of our lives.
Beginning and ending in a coffee shop,
I knew this love would not
last.
You're still stuck in the past.
Now it's raining on me as I write this poem,
just like the other night when I walked home
and you drove away in the opposite direction.
I knew then I wasn't holding your affections.
You were already shutting me out.
I sensed your eyes and words filled with doubt
about
us and, what the hell were we thinking?
Too many times you'd say 'I want you here'
and then push me away in fear
until time ran out for us to mend
'cause your schedule has no room to bend
for me or anyone.
You filled your life with distraction and responsibilities
to get away from the pain in your past,
but now it's too full to start anything new and make it last.
I don't regret anything and I never wasn't myself,
I just wish for time for you to lose yourself.
'cause You've been holding on so tight.
I was hoping so hard for just one night
I could show you what that feels like,
but there's no time.
We ran out the clock and,
just like that, our time is up.
Now I'm stuck
standing in this cafe trying to put back the pieces
you chipped from the great wall around my heart.
We had such a great start
in the race to the center of each other,
but somewhere we tripped up or rather, you did.
You drifted.
Not by anyones fault but time and how little you have of it to share
and divide up between the people in your life.
There I was standing in the line,
begging for scraps of your already scrapped up time.
But I was the new one,
the extra-curricular, recreational, elective thing
that held no precedence over other ties, a fling.
I could've been more, I had more to give.
I had more I wanted to do,
to give more of my heart to you.
But you can't so I won't
and I'm sad that you don't and didn't
let us finish,
'cause this is incomplete.
My heart still beats to this drumming,
pounding resounding in my skull,
telling me I can feel it in my bones,
that you and me,
we could be happy,
if only there was
time.