This shit's PERSONAL.

So I should be doing my homework. I should be blogging about how wonderful Vienna is.

But instead I'm going to talk about shit back home.

Why?
Because it seems like the only people back there that truly, honestly want me to have a great time here are my girlfriend, a handful of friends, and my brother. There are so many things I wish I could scream at the people who continue to put me down and I'm glad that I am so far away that way I won't say something I'll regret later..

Long story short: I'm not going to go home for a long time. This is the last straw. The second my plane lands in PDX and I get into my girlfriend's car I'm driving straight on past home. I'm gonna go to my real home where people don't try to change me or tell me I need a husband. People who don't scream at me like a pissed off 4 year old that didn't get their chocolate bar when I tell them something they don't wanna hear. People who don't pretend everything is ok when it clearly isn't. There is where I find a true home, not this wrecked up fucked up mess you expect me to cling to like it was ever something precious. I'm so tired of keeping my mouth shut, tired of getting kicked in the teeth and then hugged and then kicked and then hugged. As if a hug and a kiss will make everything bad go away and ending the day with an 'I love you' makes me want to be around you again. No. I'm not coming back. At least not until I know you really are working on your problems and come to terms with the fact that you can only control yourself, you have none over me any more.