Female sexualization

About a week ago I finished reading a very savory read titled "Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture". I'm still digesting a lot of the information presented in the book but one thing that really spoke to me was the contribution that women have in the continued objectification and dehumanization of other women and girls. Sex positivity, as I've come to understand it, is about openness and acceptance. It's the ability to be honest about your sexual desires and be surrounded by those who don't make you feel ashamed for having them, especially when they are not in the 'norm' of mainstream sexual culture (BDSM, Kink, homosexuality, etc..). But what it has become is an embracing of male-dominant objectification of other women, a movement towards a cultural acceptance of using and appraising women's bodies as commodities. Empowerment has become equated with looking like a Playboy model instead of thinking like Judith Butler. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't care at all how people express themselves, whether that means wearing pasties and booty shorts or turtle-necked sweaters. I think that women don't ask to be objectified when they wear certain clothes, and when it comes to respecting your fellow human, clothes and personal expressions should be superfluous. Despite that, I cannot believe that this model of 'empowerment' doesn't just continue to keep women preoccupied with finding self-worth in appearance rather than valuing themselves as intellectual, capable, independent beings. How can we say that women are liberated and have more opportunities today than before when those opportunities mean the ability to flash our bare breasts at cameras for money (or hats), or strip-teasing strangers as a way of showing sexual freedom? Or, what I find more disturbing: boosting your own status by agreeing with and acting 'like a man' towards other women. I admit that I'm guilty of it myself! Somehow being feminine and 'girly' is associated in our society with weakness and the way you can take yourself out of that category is by objectifying them 'like a man' would. But in reality all that does is take away your status as a threat to the 'boy's club' mentality and continues towards perpetuating animosity and, ultimately, violence towards those who are the 'girly-girls'. I look at many popular female artists and see them attempting this same removal of themselves from the category of 'girly-girls', for instance:

And, an example of equating weakness with femininity:

The message is that women who act 'like men' are cool and that femaleness is something to be not only ashamed of, but annoyed of and weeded out. By acting 'like a man' are we really raising our own statuses or just pushing those of other's underneath ours? I'm really all for acting, dressing, and being sexy whenever I want to, but I'm certainly not going to do it solely for the benefit or gratification of others. When media and society is telling women that their self-worth relies heavily upon their appearance, and the women we look up to are finding power in sexualizing themselves instead of running for office, what message does that send young girls today? It said to me that the only way I'll ever be successful is if I'm sexy and can use my sexuality against men and other women to gain power and self-worth. If you aren't 'empowered' in that way then you are seen as weak and un-pretty.

Empowerment does not mean wearing a pin-up necklace that says 'sexy' or going to strip-clubs with your guy friends (especially if you're a straight woman). It seems to me that it's something much harder to get at and understand so we continue to fall back on finding self-worth and glorification in sexual objectification. I refuse to lie about the fact that it bothers me when a successful woman gets more compliments on what she is wearing than what she said and has more people wondering about her sex life than her political agenda. If you don't believe this is true then read this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jessica-wakeman/on-sexist-media-coverage_b_98869.html


So now what? That is the big question that I feel we are all stuck on. Do we boycott playboy, picket strip-clubs, send plastic surgeons anger laden emails? I don't think any of those things would be as productive as they would be fun and would indeed be incredibly isolating to those who are in the sex industry and do enjoy their jobs. There just needs to be a change in the way we view female  empowerment as something to be respected instead of our bodies being chopped up and sold like mindless, opinion-less, prime slabs of meat. Instead of a playboy, pick up an encyclopedia. Instead of Cosmo, pick up a feminist journal. Or, if you do enjoy those things at least try to recognize the hidden messages in headlines like: How to make your man come in 10 new ways. How about: how to make yourself come in 10 new ways? How to teach your partner how to make you come in 10 new ways? etc, etc.

Your mind is worth developing, more so than your wardrobe. You can do anything you want as long as you have the passion and drive to keep going and get yourself there, it has nothing to do with the brand of shampoo you buy or how much weight you lost while eating yogurt. THAT is empowerment.

Leave comments if you gots them! :)
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